I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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