I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
