I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
