Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how do flat chested girls get laid?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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