i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
