I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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