I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize