By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
