I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
