I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
