Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
