She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
