This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
