$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
