when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
