Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
