I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
