so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
