Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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