Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
