you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
