I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
