If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
