have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
