its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize