Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
