Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
