In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
