wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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