I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
