And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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