I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
