for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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