do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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