Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Randomize
