I think my fart just growled at me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
