i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
