I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
