What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
