Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
