I think my fart just growled at me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
