he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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