Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She announced her abortion via fbk
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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