just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
