Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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