Say something about gay babies.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
