I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
