is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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