I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
