also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
