Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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