I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
