your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its about making memories worth repressing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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