Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
