I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
