DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
