I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hippo gnu deer
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
