Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
