her vagina looked like bernie madoff
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Mom said you looked used
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
