The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
