I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
