is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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