i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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