I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's never too late to be topless.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
