I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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