I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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