I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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